Are You Sending Mixed Energy? How to Align with Your True Path

We’ve all heard the advice: “Change your mindset, change your life.” So you try to think positive. You read motivational books, repeat affirmations, maybe even make vision boards. Yet, despite all that mental effort, you still feel stuck. It’s as if part of you didn’t get the memo from your brain that “we’re being optimistic now!” If this sounds familiar, you’re not flawed or doomed – you’re discovering a crucial truth: mindset alone isn’t always the magic key to getting unstuck.

Don’t get me wrong, mindset matters. Our thoughts influence our actions and outlook. But mindset is primarily a brain thing, and feeling stuck often has deeper roots that aren’t just in your conscious thoughts. In fact, I’m going to share what I’ve found to be the #1 reason people feel stuck, and it might surprise you: It’s not a “bad attitude” or lack of willpower – it’s actually your nervous system and emotional state holding you in place.

Imagine this: you’re driving a car with the emergency brake on. No matter how much you press the gas (positive thinking, planning, pushing yourself), the car strains and inches forward slowly, if at all. In this analogy, your body and subconscious are the emergency brake. If they’re locked in a state of fear or overwhelm (the “freeze” stress response), it won’t matter how many empowering mantras your mind chants – you’ll still feel stuck and stalled.

So if you’ve been blaming your mindset for your stuck-ness, give yourself a little grace. There’s a deeper layer to address. The encouraging news is that once you understand this #1 reason and learn how to work with it, you can finally release that inner brake and start moving forward with much less resistance. Let’s explore what’s really going on and how to fix it.

The human body has some pretty wise (and ancient) mechanisms to protect us. When we face a threat or extreme stress, our autonomic nervous system kicks in with three classic responses: fight, flight, or freeze. You’ve probably heard of fight-or-flight – that adrenaline rush to either battle a threat or run from it. But there’s a third option, freeze, which is like our built-in brake pedal. It’s an evolutionary response seen in animals (think of a deer freezing when it senses danger). In modern life, we’re (hopefully) not encountering wild predators, but our body can perceive things like overwhelming stress, trauma, or even chronic pressure as threats too.

When the freeze response gets activated, you experience a kind of immobilization. Psychologically, this can translate to feeling stuck, apathetic, numb, or unable to take action. Ever had so much to do that you felt paralyzed and ended up doing nothing? That’s freeze in action. Or been so overwhelmed by life changes or anxiety that you just shut down? Freeze again. It’s your nervous system essentially saying, “Too much! I can’t fight this or run from it, so I’m going to play dead (or ‘hide’ internally) until it passes.” In the short term, it protects you from getting emotionally overwhelmed. But if you get stuck in freeze mode chronically, it becomes a big trap.

Many people who feel chronically stuck in life – whether it’s stuck in depression, stuck in procrastination, or stuck in indecision – have a nervous system that’s constantly a bit frozen. Research suggests that those who’ve experienced trauma or high anxiety are more prone to an overactive freeze response (The “Freeze” Response to Stress: Why You’re Feeling Stuck, and What to Do About It — Navigation Psychology). It’s like their system learned “when in doubt, shut down.” This can happen even from long-term stress, not just big trauma.

If mindset is about thoughts, freeze is about biology. It’s a state of low energy, low motivation, often accompanied by feelings of helplessness or being overwhelmed by where to even start. No wonder affirmations bounce off such a state – the body is essentially not listening to the mind when in freeze. It’s tuned out as a survival tactic.

Here are some hallmark signs that the freeze response (and not just a “bad mindset”) might be contributing to your stuck feelings:

• You often feel overwhelmed by tasks or decisions, so you end up doing nothing or busying yourself with trivial stuff.
• You find yourself numbing out frequently – scrolling on your phone mindlessly, binge-watching TV, sleeping excessively – not even enjoying it, just escaping.
• You feel a sense of fog or disconnection. Like you’re a bit detached from life or watching your life from the outside.
• There’s a strong desire to avoid: you avoid starting that project, avoid that difficult conversation, avoid making a change – even if you logically know it’s necessary.
• When opportunities or ideas come, your immediate internal reaction is often “I can’t” or a kind of blankness, rather than excitement or even fear. It’s more like a flat inertia.

Does any of that ring a bell? If so, it’s very likely not just “in your head.” Your body has learned to hit the brakes to cope with stress, and now it might be overusing that response, keeping you stuck.

When you’re in this stuck freeze state, someone telling you “just think positive” or “just do it!” can feel pretty irritating – or utterly useless – right? It’s like telling a person with a broken leg to “just run faster.” They can’t until that leg is healed and rehabilitated.

Similarly, if your nervous system is locked in a freeze-based state of fear or overwhelm, you can’t simply will your way out with thoughts. Your mind and body are connected, and sometimes the body (through the nervous system) holds the greater sway.

Consider this: Have you ever known what you needed to do – like “I should apply to that program” or “I should end this toxic relationship” – but you just couldn’t get yourself to do it? Intellectually, the mindset was there, the logic was sound. But something in you resisted, as if an invisible force field was keeping you in place. That’s the disconnect between mind and body at play.

This doesn’t mean you’re helpless. Far from it! It means the approach to getting unstuck needs to include the body and subconscious, not just pep talks.

The great thing is, once you work with your nervous system and release that deep tension or fear, your mindset often naturally improves. It’s a two-way street: sometimes working with the body frees the mind, sometimes shifting the mind gradually calms the body. The sweet spot is working on both in tandem.

So, the #1 reason you feel stuck is likely because your body (nervous system) is in a protective lockdown, not because you simply haven’t tried hard enough to think differently. Appreciating this can take a huge weight off your shoulders – you can stop beating yourself up for “failing” to change by thought alone.

Now, let’s talk solutions: how do you signal to your body that it’s safe to move forward, so it can release that freeze response? How do you get that inner emergency brake to loosen up?

To truly get unstuck, you’ll want to focus on changing your state (physical/emotional) as much as your thoughts. Here are some effective strategies:

1. Discharge the Freeze: Move Your Body – One of the best ways to tell your nervous system “we don’t need to play dead anymore” is to literally move. Exercise and movement can help shake off that frozen energy. This doesn’t have to be intense; even gentle movement works because it activates the body. Try things like: taking a brisk walk (especially if you’ve been sitting in a funk for hours), doing some stretches or yoga, dancing to a favorite song, or even just shaking your hands and arms out vigorously. Ever see animals after they’ve been scared? They often do a whole-body shake – that’s them releasing the freeze. We can do similar things. Movement signals to your body that it’s now safe to go from “freeze” to “flight or fight” and then to calm. In fact, practices like yoga and tai chi are great because they combine movement with breathing, directly soothing the nervous system. As you make daily movement a habit, you’ll likely notice your baseline energy and motivation creep up.

2. Breathe Your Way Back to Calm – When we’re in freeze mode, our breathing often becomes very shallow. Deep, intentional breathing can gently nudge your body out of that state. A particularly useful technique is the physiological sigh (recently studied by Stanford researchers): inhale through your nose, then take a second quick inhale to fully fill your lungs, and exhale slowly through your mouth (Study shows cyclic breathing technique more effective in reducing stress than mindfulness meditation). Do this a few times. This kind of breathing has been shown to reduce stress more effectively than even traditional meditation in some cases (Study shows cyclic breathing technique more effective in reducing stress than mindfulness meditation). Long exhales in general activate the vagus nerve, telling your body it’s okay to relax (Longer Exhalations Are an Easy Way to Hack Your Vagus Nerve). So if you’re feeling that stuck paralysis, take 2 minutes to do slow breathing. It might not solve everything, but it can shift you from freeze (where everything is shut down) to a more thawed state where your thinking brain comes back online. From there, you can make better decisions and actually start taking action. Think of breathwork as the bridge between body and mind – it can calm the body and focus the mind in tandem.

3. Ground Yourself in the Present Moment – A lot of feeling stuck has to do with our mind either racing to the future (and getting overwhelmed by all the what-ifs) or dwelling on the past (and feeling hopeless or heavy). To break free, practice grounding techniques that anchor you to the here and now. One simple method is the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise: Name 5 things you can see around you, 4 things you can feel (hands on your lap, floor under feet, etc.), 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste (even just the taste of your own mouth). This shifts your focus to your senses and environment, interrupting spiraling thoughts. Another grounding method is literally grounding – if possible, stand barefoot on earth (grass, soil) or touch a tree. It sounds a bit earthy, but many people report it calms them noticeably. The science behind it aside, symbolically it connects you to the real world right now, not the one in your head. Grounding helps because once you’re out of the mental storm, the freeze response can subside (it often feeds on overwhelming thoughts). With calm, you often realize, “Okay, what I need to do next isn’t so bad. I can handle this one step.”

4. Tackle Tiny Tasks to Build Momentum – When your body is locked in freeze, the activation energy to do anything can feel enormous. So the trick is to make the first step laughably small. The goal is to get moving, any movement, to break the inertia. For example, if you’re stuck on starting a big project, commit to just 5 minutes of it. If even that feels too much, commit to opening the document and writing one sentence. Seriously – one sentence. Or if you’re stuck in a messy house and totally overwhelmed, commit to picking up just 5 items or just cleaning one corner of one room. These tiny targets may seem trivial, but accomplishing them creates a sense of relief and a small win. That win gives a tiny dopamine hit to your brain, and your nervous system registers, “Hey, we did something and it was okay.” Over time, these small actions build trust with yourself and signal safety. Often you’ll find once you start the 5 minutes or pick up 5 items, you naturally do a bit more – great! But even if not, that little action, done consistently, will accumulate. The motto here is “action precedes motivation.” Don’t wait to feel unstuck to take action; take a tiny action to help yourself feel less stuck.

5. Engage the Senses to Revive Yourself – Activating your senses can pull you out of a freeze state because it engages the sensorimotor part of your brain, not just the thinking part. This overlaps with grounding, but think of it more as self-stimulation (the healthy kind!). For instance, take a cold shower or splash cold water on your face. The intensity of cold can jolt you out of numbness (Wim Hof Method enthusiasts use cold exposure to boost mood and energy – it really works to “wake up” your system). Or try holding an ice cube in your hand for a few moments; focus on the cold and melting sensations – it brings you into your body. On the gentler side, use aromatherapy: a sharp scent like peppermint or eucalyptus can perk you up; a comforting scent like lavender might soothe anxiety. Put on music that influences your mood: energizing music to lift you out of lethargy, or calming music if panic underlies your freeze. Taste something with a strong flavor – a bit of spicy chili or a sour candy, to remind you you’re alive and kickin’. These sensory “resets” are quick ways to shift your state when you feel stuck in cement. They remind your brain and body that there’s a world of experience to engage with, and can give you that little boost of aliveness needed to start moving.

6. Self-Compassion and Safety – This one’s more internal, but extremely important. Often, if freeze is triggered, it’s because something in you feels unsafe or fearful. It might not be obvious what that is – maybe fear of failure, fear of judgment, fear of change. Berating yourself for being stuck (“Ugh, I’m so lazy, what’s wrong with me?”) only increases that sense of threat internally. To truly coax yourself out of stuckness, you want to create a sense of safety and compassion inside. Speak to yourself like you would to a dear friend. “It’s understandable you feel stuck; you’ve been through a lot. Let’s find a gentle way forward.” Sometimes even placing a hand on your heart or giving yourself a hug and saying “I’m here for you” can calm the nervous system. This might sound a bit fluffy, but it’s rooted in science – self-compassion can reduce cortisol (stress hormone) and increase resilience. When you feel safe, your nervous system can shift from freeze to a more relaxed state. Think of it like thawing out. Telling yourself “it’s safe now to take a small step” or visualizing a safe outcome can encourage that frozen part to relax its guard. Celebrate any progress, however small. The more you reinforce that it’s safe to move forward and that you’ll be okay even if things aren’t perfect, the less your body will feel the need to hold you back.

When you incorporate these body-and-soul-based strategies, you’ll likely find that your mindset naturally starts to improve as well. It’s much easier to have a positive, can-do mindset when your body isn’t gripped by fear or shut down in overwhelm. Essentially, you’re working from the bottom up (body to mind) as well as the top down (mind to body).

As you practice easing out of the freeze response and into action, you’ll build what psychologists call self-efficacy – a confident belief in your ability to handle situations. Each time you break through and do something despite feeling stuck, you prove to your brain “Hey, I can do this.” That creates a virtuous cycle: your body becomes less prone to freezing, and your mind becomes more optimistic.

One fascinating thing: often the #1 reason (nervous system freeze) is hiding behind what we think the reason is. For example, you might label yourself as “procrastinator” or say “I just can’t stick to anything.” But if you peel it back, procrastination might have been a way to cope with overwhelm (freeze), or “not sticking to anything” might be because fear makes you give up before you really try (freeze/flight combo). When you deal with the root – the state of overwhelm/fear – those labels start falling away. You’re not inherently a lazy or unmotivated person (99% of the time that’s not true). You were just stuck in a protective state that blunted motivation. Remove that, and your natural drive and passion can re-emerge.

Another thing: consider getting support if you need it. Sometimes feeling stuck has been a long-term thing, especially if tied to trauma or mental health issues like depression. Therapists (particularly those trained in somatic techniques or trauma-informed methods), coaches, or support groups can provide guidance and accountability. Even telling a friend that you’re trying to get unstuck and having them encourage you or check in can help. Humans co-regulate – meaning, a calm and supportive person can actually help calm your nervous system. So, you don’t have to do it all alone or by sheer willpower.

Remember, you are not your stuckness. It’s a state, not your identity. And states can change.

Key Takeaways

• Feeling stuck isn’t just “in your head.” Often, it’s rooted in your body’s natural stress responses. The freeze response can make you feel paralyzed and unmotivated, even if you want to change (The “Freeze” Response to Stress: Why You’re Feeling Stuck, and What to Do About It — Navigation Psychology). So don’t beat yourself up for not overcoming it by mindset alone.
• The #1 hidden culprit is a stuck nervous system. Chronic stress or past trauma can put your body in protective “freeze mode,” leading to procrastination, numbness, or inertia. In this state, your brain’s pep talks might not land because your body is saying “It’s not safe to move forward.”
• Work from the bottom up. Engage body-based techniques to signal safety and break out of freeze. Physical movement, even gentle exercise or shaking out tension, tells your body it’s okay to get going. Deep breathing, especially extended exhales or “physiological sighs,” can calm your nervous system and reduce anxiety quickly (Study shows cyclic breathing technique more effective in reducing stress than mindfulness meditation) (Longer Exhalations Are an Easy Way to Hack Your Vagus Nerve).
• Start small to overcome overwhelm. When everything feels like too much, commit to tiny actions (5 minutes, one small task) to build momentum. Each small win nudges your nervous system out of paralysis and proves to your mind that you can make progress.
• Use grounding and sensory techniques. Coming into the present moment through your senses (touch, sight, sound, etc.) can pull you out of an overwhelmed mind and help thaw the freeze response. Cold water, strong scents, or a change in sensory input can “wake up” your system and shift your mood.
• Self-compassion over self-criticism. Recognize that feeling stuck is a protective mechanism, not a personal failing. Treat yourself kindly and reassure yourself that it’s safe to take little steps forward. Reducing self-judgment lowers internal stress, making it easier for your nervous system to relax out of freeze.
• Mindset matters more after the body is on board. Once you calm your nervous system and get moving, reinforcing a growth mindset and positive thoughts will be much more effective. Changing your state creates fertile ground for changing your mindset – and then they can support each other.

In summary, the #1 reason you feel stuck likely isn’t a lack of motivation or poor mindset – it’s a deeper physiological response trying to protect you. By addressing that head-on and soothing your system, you free yourself to move forward. It’s like melting the ice that’s held you in place. With patience and the right tools, you will get unstuck. Your journey might not look perfect (whose does?), but you’ll build strength and confidence each time you guide yourself out of a frozen state into action. You’ve got this – both your mind and body are capable of great resilience and change, especially when you get them working together.